Life Transitions for Women over 50
Losing a Spouse in Mid Life
Whether anticipated or unexpected, losing your husband can turn your world upside down and leave you feeling lost and overwhelmed, especially if like me you had been married for a long time.
The transition from wife to widow is a painful one involving a change from married partner to independent woman and losing your lover, housemate, financial partner, confidante and soul mate all at once.
At the beginning you will feel shocked and can’t believe it has happened. You feel numb, everything feels hazy and you might be unable to concentrate.
During this period we use a range of coping mechanisms to protect us and may try to convince ourselves and other people that ‘everything is all right’ when it isn’t. Some of us use anger to mask our feelings, as it is often easier to get angry and blame other people. Others play the role of victim.’ Why me?’ I don’t deserve this’.
After this period of shock and denial, reality sinks in and the fact that life will never be the same again hits home. Feelings of sadness loss and anxiety are common at this stage and you need to avoid becoming depressed by talking to family and friends or your GP. Concerns about how you will cope on your own begin to come to the fore.
The time it takes to get over the grieving stage can vary enormously and there are no hard and fast rules. However I can promise you is that as the saying goes ‘This too shall pass’.
You don’t have to sort everything out at once. If you are feeling overwhelmed with sadness and getting through the day is as much as you can stand, take time out and look after yourself.
As well as the need to look after yourself, you may worry about your financial situation now that you are on your own. There is a lot you can do for yourself, such as drawing up a detailed budget and looking at how you can reduce your outgoings. I also offer coaching for people who want support to manage their money better.
The final stage involves planning new beginnings and your new life. Some of the benefits it offers are -
Greater clarity about your future and what you need to do to create it.
Increased awareness about options available to you.
Momentum to take action and keep going.
Having strategies to overcome the challenges you face.
Feeling that you are more in control.
Greater focus to achieve your desired future.
Email or telephone me now to discuss how I can provide you with a confidential, objective, one -to -one process with the time and space to focus on getting your life back on track again.